tough times October 7 2012 Rest In Peace my sunshine

 My best friend whom I actually refer to as my soul friend passed
away suddenly on October 4 and I am devastated.
Tim Cannon walked into my life almost 5 years ago we clicked and became best friends, we knew all of each others secrets. We always talked for hours on end. When I met Tim I suffered from severe low self esteem but he made me feel beautiful and Loved and he tfouched my heart after I had it closed off, He broke the wall that I build around my self. I wake up daily wishing it was all just a nightmare.

 Everyone Tim had knew whether it was a passing moment at one of his gigs or if you were lucky to be his friend, and man he has an abundance of friends who are grieving for this wonderfull man who I am honored to call my soul friend because he has a piece of my soul and I have a piece of his. He was a multi talented musician and a great friend, brother, son, and uncle

Daddy of his little doggie Rocky kisses

You will live on in my heart and throuh your music, Til the day we are reunited in Heaven

But yesterday I had a moment of serenety this is what I exerienced:


I had an experience today and it really brought me peace, initially early this morning I got a text and woke up thinking it was a text from Tim, maybe I was dreaming of him? I cried, didn't want to do anything but had to go out. so anyways I am driving in my car and for a half hour straight I heard songs that tim did for covers, seriously this has never happened and I have this station on everyday, last song was don't stop believing, anyways I get out of my car and realize its a sunny day and its been crappy a week now and it was weird it was like clouds parted and the sun was shining at me, then I had the weirdest feeling like someone was touchin my skin and got this instant peace and serene feeling, I felt him with me and had this thought he once told me we would be friends forever and I know he is here with me in my heart everyday and all afternoon I felt so much better, shared this with his sister and brother, i had the thought he is happy he is with his dad and still with us, it was an amazin experience

10/1/12 FMM Uniquely you

Uniquely You

1) Do you prefer to talk or text? I think its pretty even, I rather talk in person face to face but text and talk pretty equally
2) How often do you make your bed? Truth never, I wash and change the bedding then I make it but every day no I hang in my room when not at work or school and what not and I like to be covered
3) What sounds do you hear right now? tv because my daughter is watching and her giggles when something funny happens  love her giggles
4) List three things that you always carry with you. Phone, keys, wallet
5) What are your favorite TV shows? the policing shows like NCIS, SVU, Criminal minds and CSI, then I love Drop dead Diva, once upon a time and revenge,  then my supernatural shows like true blood vampire diaries and supernatural  whooops that was more than 3 lol
6) Is there a hobby that you’d like to devote more time to? If so, what is it? not really

7) What is your favorite drink? few months ago I would have answered coca cola classic but now water
8) Share a couple of cool facts about your family. I have 18 nieces and nephews and over 25 great nieces and nephews, I was an aunt at birth my oldest nephew is older than me
9) List one thing that you will do for yourself today. I will get to the gym
10) Share something that you’re thankful for today. my kids

Monday October 1, 2012

Well I haven't posted because I have been so busy with work, school,kids, fitting in my physical therapy and so on my home scale I have maintained last 2 weeks. The weight loss clinic I have maintained a loss but the number their is higher, mostly because at home I weigh in naked and obviously I am lothed there and its usually after I have eaten, last week I was 303.4 but still 299 on my home scale. I haven't made it to the gym regularly either so that is probably why.

At the weight loss clinic they are happy with my weight loss because they don't count from 322 but I think 312 when I started I am down 9.1 lbs.  I need to re commit to the Gym even its waking early. I do want to buy a home elliptical for AM workouts though. I still do cardio with walking and such but no strength training all week, and that I need.